there is no situation imaginable in which I would have to explain why I left this website and gave up photography for a length of time; having said that, I would feel more at ease knowing the first post made to this reclaimed blog is one that clears things up a bit. this is not a guarantee that this blog won’t vanish again someday, so I will try to make the best of this while it lasts.
although I don’t remember it, I deleted my blog and the 1000+ photos attributed to it on the day after Christmas, 2013. in addition to this, I gave up on a undertaking of my own, called “Project: In Disposables”, something I still feel terribly about, but about which I can do very little. one year earlier, I had just fallen for someone I met through my original blog, named Ashley. while speaking on this relationship won’t solve anything, that it did not end well is the least I can acknowledge. everybody falls in love, and everybody makes mistakes; however, I do not wish to be defined by this one instance, which unfortunately led to an inordinate number of subsequent mistakes.
at the start of 2014 I quit one of the jobs I had and started working late nights for a family member at a decent wage; I was able to take care of myself and what I needed to, but having made two trips to California the previous year to visit Ashley, I never recovered from those investments. cameras were sold, photos and negatives destroyed, and ties were cut. in February another setback occurred, but it is not something I can mention here and now. I was in the middle of my first semester at community college at the time, and finished despite what troubles I was having. this is when I thought I had moved on.
by the summer I had heard from Ashley again and regained false hope, but it was all for naught. there is little chance anyone reading this will know her, but the one thing she can successfully do, for certain, is disappear. after becoming more frustrated and less focused, I quit the only job I had in order to go to school full time in the fall and shaved my head. this brings me to my current situation.
for someone who spent well over a year taking photos and dreaming of another person 3000+ miles away, traveling 10000+ miles to see them, and investing more time, energy or money into one person than anything else, I’ve managed not to lose complete sight of reality; I came damn near close, though. luckily, there is no way I can get back to being the person who I was, and I am thankful for that.
to anyone who does read this, whether original photos follow this post or not, I hope this explanation does not strike you as odd. having given very little information in this somewhat lengthy post, the one comment I can make is that I did not give up because of a broken heart.
- Jeremy Evan (formerly Jeremy Myers, Camera Person)